NZ On Screen – Page 13 – 5000 Ways to Love You

Shihad “Pacifier”

It almost goes without saying that the “Pacifier” video is largely based on “A Clockwork Orange”. Except, judging by the YouTube comments, some whippersnappers haven’t seen the film and angrily accuse Shihad of ripping of Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” video.

But with the lineage settled, the next question is why is the “Pacifier” video so strongly based on “A Clockwork Orange”? I’d guess it was chosen to contrast the ‘ultra-violence’ of “A Clockwork Orange” with the peaceful wish of Shihad’s lyrics. Except being a music video, it can’t actually show any violence. It’s just implied with intense stares coming from droog Jon.

Back when this video was first released, I remember discussing it at the late great NZmusic.com. It bothered me that the video had borrowed so much from “A Clockwork Orange” but had done so little with it.

It made me think of Joseph Kahn’s brilliantly fun video for the Faith No More track “Last Cup of Sorrow”. That video is based on the Hitchcock film “Vertigo”. It starts off being a pretty faithful reproduction of the original, then it gets deliciously weird.

I mentioned this on the NZmusic.com forum and was surprised when Tom from Shihad (a forum regular) commented to say he kind of agreed. He’d not been convinced by the premise of the video, but the band being a democracy, he was happy to go along with it.

And more than a decade later, I still have the same issue with the video. The concept of “Pacifier” seems little more than, “Hey, we should do it like A Clockwork Orange!” Even Rob Zombie added his own bits.

When the song concludes with a euphoric “Come on, let’s take a look outside”, it seems a missed opportunity to use some lovely New Zealand outdoorsness, the sort that features in Shihad’s video for “A Day Away”. I want to feel the stress and tension of the lyrics, then have a wave of soothing love and calmness wash over. I don’t want to see giant codpieces.

But there’s one difference between my old thoughts on NZmusic.com and now: the name change. A couple of years later, Shihad felt compelled to change their name and settled on Pacifier. That brings a certain melancholic feeling to the scenes at the milk bar with “Shihad Pacifier” emblazoned on the walls, like the rebranding was kicking off before anyone knew it was going to happen.

Best bit: the droogs hooning around a Shell petrol station.

Director: Jolyon Watkins
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next: would you rather have the money?

Dark Tower “Baggy Trousers”

“Baggy Trousers” is an ode to large pantaloons, but rather than just focus on clothing, the video is styled as a parody of “The Blair Witch Project”. The groundbreaking horror film was released in New Zealand in December 1999, so it must have been very fresh in the minds of Dark Tower and director David Stubbs when it came to make their new music video.

The video starts with a title card, telling of “three baggily panted rap musicians” who went missing while on a music video shoot. We’re then treated to the “found” footage of their adventure.

The trio arrive in the “Dark Tower Mystery Machine” (hey, you might as well cram in those pop culture references) and they set off into the woods, kitted out with backpacks and baggy trousers. You know, baggy trousers aren’t really all that practical for a bush walk. The low hemlines are going to drag on the ground and get all dirty.

The group continue to explore, but there’s no sign of any strange goings-on. They’re content to revel in their baggy-trouseredness. A strange bundle of sticks is no cause for alarm. It turns out there’s a mic in the bundle, perfect for busting out some dope rhymes.

Just like in the film, the trio discover an old house in the woods. Could the Blair Witch be found inside? No? What about the Baggy Witch? No? Okay, how about peeing against a wall in a parody of the final scenes of the Blair Witch? Ah, there we go.

Best bit: the closing credits alarmingly thanking Search and Rescue and the Westpac Rescue Helicopter.

Director: David Stubbs
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… sequins, eye shadow and glamour.

Deep Obsession “One & Only”

There’s something entertainingly mad about Deep Obsession videos. The formula seems to be create an eye-catching set, plonk Deep Obsession in it and have them seductively slide along the walls.

We meet the two Obsessettes in a futuristic corridor. It’s a cool blue-grey colour with tall strips of light at regular intervals making it feel a bit like the set of a sci-fi drama. The floor is covered with rocks, so, er, perhaps it’s a mining ship.

Like Deep Obsession’s earlier “Cold” video, little is done to distinguish between Vanessa and Zara. They’re not given much screen time together and there’s little interaction when they are together, which makes it seem like there’s an off-camera feud between them. Or perhaps they’re feuding over the “one and only” of the song.

We meet the object of their affection/s, a young man who is lost in the futuristic corridors. The video uses techniques last seen in 1980s-era Doctor Who to make the one corridor set seem like a never-ending labyrinth. Actually, this video would be vastly improved by a few Daleks.

Wait. Maybe the video can manage some next-level crazy on its own. What it needs is Zara and Vanessa sitting in a room full of goldfish bowls, each bowl with a mysterious cable going in and a light dangling above it. Oh, there it is. Being the late ’90s, I wouldn’t be surprised if this had been done as a super feng shui technique, bringing great wealth and abundant harmony.

The lost guy never finds the girls and nothing happens with the fish. In the end, we leave Deep Obsession wandering the futuristic corridors. And it is said that on a very quiet night, you can still hear them wandering to this very day.

Best bit: the room of fish.

Director: Ian McLean
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… honey, I blew up the baby.

Fiona McDonald “Breathe”

Set in a spotless suburban home of the 1950s, Fiona plays a frustrated housewife – and that’s a Betty Draper level of frustration.

The problem is her husband (played by Ian Hughes, who we’ve previously seen in a Greg Johnson video and a Bike video that was also directed by Jonathan King). He just doesn’t notice her. Fiona brings him his dinner (meat and three veg) and she’s perfectly dressed – elegant hair, a fine ladysuit and pearls.

Husband continues to be uninterested in Fiona even as she drapes herself over him as he watches telly, sensually writhes on the bed as he trims his nose hairs, snuggles up next to him as he reads his Adventure Annual in bed, and erotically plays with an ice cube as he practises his golf swing. What’s a girl gotta do to get a little affection?

But in the end, she can’t take it any more. A leg of lamb, previously destined for the oven, gets a new use… as a murder weapon. And this neatly evokes the dark Roald Dahl short story “Lamb to the Slaughter”, which adds a perfect conclusion to the saga.

A few times there’s black and white footage of Fiona in the present day, a reminder that she’s not actually a frustrated housewife; she’s a pop singer. But to me, it feels like the fun that Fiona has playing the frustrated housewife – especially her hilarious efforts at bedroom seduction – reveals more about her than any moody black-and-white footage could.

Best bit: A man, a woman, an Adventure Annual – there’s only room for two.

Director: Jonathan King
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… the man-tiger and friends.

True Bliss “Tonight”

TrueBliss is like patient zero of the modern phenomena of reality TV music stars. TrueBliss came from Popstars which begat Australian Popstars, which begat UK Popstars, which begat Popstars: The Rivals (which begat Girls Aloud and it was good), which begat Pop Idol, which begat American Idol, which begat X Factor… and it’s just been announced that New Zealand is getting its own X Factor series in 2013.

The original Popstars was nothing like the slick talent quests we know today. It had a much lower budget, for starters – a church hall instead of the O2 Arena. Popstars was more a fly-on-the-wall doco that didn’t have two of the most vital elements of shows today – no phone vote and no Mr Nasty judge. But it was crazy fun and managed to piss people off, which is always good.

Anyway, the newly formed quintet had to release their first single. “Tonight” was penned by Anthony Ioasa of Grace but it sounds like something taken from the filing cabinet of a middle-aged man: “Tonight’s the night we made love till the eeeeend”. It’s like an older man’s idea of what a young woman should be like. This is New Zealand. We do not “make love”; we root.

The video is better than the song. It sees le Bliss hanging out together in various locations. They’re at a slumber party watching home movies of themselves, hanging out in an edgy urban alleyway, relaxing at the beach, spilling things at a cafe, running around in elegant gowns, and grappling with all sorts of hairdos and make-up, some of which were even in fashion at the time.

But in a way, it doesn’t even matter what goes on in the video. “Tonight” exists as a kitschy document of pre-millennium New Zealand. The possibilities of digital video technology were crossed with the fun yet cynical world of pop and TrueBliss were what happened. They didn’t last long, with Carly leaving in 2000 and the band dissolving soon after. In a way they were a perfect pop group, a great formation story, a couple of hit singles, a tour, and then it’s all over.

~~Best~~ Worst bit: the awfulness of Joe being excluded from the sexy hula dance.

Director: Matt Palmer
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Bonus!
Watch old episodes of “Popstars”, including an excerpt showing the making of the “Tonight” music video, thanks to NZ On Screen.
And enjoy this vintage 1999 TrueBliss fansite.

Next… just a little reminder.

Stellar “Violent”

There’s a crime wave in the city. Someone is stealing mirrors. Car mirrors, hand mirrors – they’re all game. What nefarious villain is behind this? It’s Boh.

Her minions deliver their latest haul. In villainess form, wearing a dark wig and light contact lenses, she looks totally different from the red-haired rock chick seen in other parts of the video. But what does this femme fatale want with all the mirrors?

It turns out she has a glue gun and precedes to glue fragments of the mirrors to the body of a nervous young man, like an R18 Good Morning craft segment.

The video, directed by Jonathan King and looking really good, teases us with this idea, spending a lot of time lingering on the band just performing the song. All is revealed at the end when the young man appears at a Stellar gig clad head to toe in mirror bits, dancing like a maniac.

The only thing left to do is borrow a gag from the Mighty Boosh and wonder if he has mirror balls.

Director: Jonathan King
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a portable television.

Stellar “Part Of Me”

Stellar’s second music video from their debut album takes the band out of the performance setting of previous music videos and instead introduces a science-fiction scenario.

It’s a world of modern architecture, high ceilings, light spaces and escalators with guard rails to stop kids riding down in the gap. The band are clad in white hooded boiler suits and they enter the futuristic building (with the entrance played by That Building On Greys Ave With The Round Door).

After passing through security, we see what top secret plan they’re working on. It involves plants that are being converted into a gooey green liquid (probably Palmolive) and then pressed into pill form. It’s like one of those awesome sci-fi films from the 1960s. Hey, it’s a new and improved form of Soylent Green, now 100% people-free!

There are two sides of the workers. Outside of the white boiler suits, they wear tailored black clothes and all have bright red hair. So what was attention-grabbing on Boh in the “What You Do” video is now run-of-the-mill.

Worker Boh is a little miserable. Almost anonymous in her white uniform, it seems like she’s holding on to one thing that makes her happy. And there it is – through the cracks of a busy concours, the lone shoot of a plant emerges. That’s what kept Boh happy. Let’s just hope a hungry citizen doesn’t snack on it.

Best bit: the green goo – softens hands while feeding the masses.

Director: Jonathan King
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… drama party.

Shihad “My Mind’s Sedate”

At the time this song was released, I felt very energised by the sarcastic opening line: “Well, I trust the police and the government!” Whereas now it seems like boilerplate angry young man. But I like what Shihad have done with the video. Directed by Reuben Sutherland, it’s taking a fairly standard video treatment – the mad scientist – and giving it a really dark, icky edge. This is not a musical performance video, but Shihad have never been afraid to take themselves out of traditional rock settings.

Jon spends most of the video wearing a lab coat, curled up in the corner of a lab, with the rest of the band lurking in the background, like three other scientists who are watching their colleague descend into madness.

Dr Jon’s hair is wet with sweat. It’s a filthy lab and strange things slither in the corners. The line “you don’t have a brain” is complemented with an selection of brains, arranged like chess pieces on the lino tiles.

The video keeps looking like an ordinary mad scientist sci-fi, but suddenly really weird things, ugly things will pop up, making Jon’s character seems like a run-of-the-mill mad scientist in the midst of severe meth psychosis. Poor chap. He probably just wanted to create a bride.

Director Reuben Sutherland won Best Video at the 2000 New Zealand Music Awards. It was his second consecutive win, and the third win in a row for a Shihad video.

Best bit: the weird insecty thing on the shelf.

Director: Reuben Sutherland
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… bullet boys.

Jan Hellriegel “Melusine”

“Melusine” is a lush ’60s-influenced pop song about merman love. (The Melusine is a freshwater mermaid, also the star of the Starbucks logo). The video goes in a slightly different direction, exploring Jan’s relationship with gender identity (and that makes it seem pretty serious, but it’s really quite fun).

The video starts with a waiting room filling up with handsome fellows but we soon realise that the guy in the middle is Jan in drag. She makes a pretty decent bloke, but as soon as she starts singing, we’re instantly reminded that she’s a lady.

Man Jan enters a room labelled “nga wahine anake” (women only) and begins to strip off, revealing the female form. There’s a lot of nudity in this part, but it’s shot very tastefully and cleverly. It’s not done to titillate, and director Tracey Tawhiao hasn’t needed to use any comedy prop placements to hide rude bits.

From the naked state, Jan transforms into a glamourpuss, with bold make-up and a fabulous gold lurex gown. It actually reminds me of the videos Madonna makes that mess around with gender – the feminine is a bit masculine, the masculine is a bit feminine.

NB: Jan Hellriegel has written a really good piece called the Emancipation of Melusine, where she writes about the making of the song and the ideas behind the video.

Best bit: the te reo sign, a welcome piece of New Zealand.

Director: Tracey Tawhiao
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a tropical break.

The Feelers “Venus”

The “Venus” video is seemingly about a girl who’s on the run from the law. She’s James Feelers’ sweetie, and while he sings his song for her, she’s escaped a greasy cop who’d been holding her at a sleazy motel room, run away to a remote gas station, stolen a car and driven to the Feelers gig.

But here’s the curious thing – the Feelers gig is at the Hastings Municipal Theatre (now called the Hawke’s Bay Opera House). The theatre has an elegant Spanish Mission-style facade, an extravagant art nouveau interior and is a Category I listed building with the Historic Place Trust. And the video loves it.

This isn’t just a random gig. The camera relishes the theatre’s lush interior, swooping all around. Sometimes it’s just an excuse to show the balconies packed full of Feelers fans, but other times the camera lingers on features of the lush interior decor.

Because I’m a bit of a building nerd – because I spent half an hour googling too figure out where it was shot – the theatre shots are more interesting to me, to the point where the plot fades into insignificance.

Except the ending is still powerful. Venus enters the theatre and smiles at James Feelers. He sees her but he cannot react as the greasy cop is standing off to the side. Venus runs off. Is she running because she realises his lack of reaction means the cop is there? Or does she take his blanking to be a cruel rejection, casting her out onto the mean streets of Hastings? sniff Don’t worry, Venus. Napier’s only 20 minutes away.

Best bit: the lingering glimpse of the fancy ceiling.

Director: Duncan Cole
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a very easy chair.