February 2012 – 5000 Ways to Love You

Purest Form “If I Fell”

I previously said that “U Can Do It” was Purest Form’s last single, but I was wrong. They actually had one more single up their sleeves, and with it came the most ridiculous and therefore the greatest New Zealand music video ever made.

The song is a slowed-down cover of the Beatles’ classic. As expected, it is a perfect song to show off the boys’ vocal harmonies. Their previous music video, “U Can Do It”, had a bold Polynesian flavour, but “If I Fell” goes in the complete opposite direction, thoroughly colonising the boys.

They start sitting on the steps at Alberton, before jumping into a vintage car and hooning off to a waterfall, including a couple of the Form sitting on jump seats at the back. Watch out, guys!

Once they reach the waterfall, they stand around looking moody, dressed in what appears to be cricket uniforms. A young lady in a white dress moves about, also looking moody and romantic. Sometimes she plays a cello.

It’s all very good so far, but then at the two-minute mark, something amazing happens: the lead vocalist gets wet. Probably inspired by Peter Andre’s 1995 waterfall romp in “Mysterious Girl”, one of the Form (the fit one) casts off his colonial attire, dons a lavalava and stands under the waterfall looking really hot.

This sort of stuff doesn’t usually happen in New Zealand music videos. We get all shy and embarrassed and wonder what our parents would think and how this might affect our future employment opportunities. So I am super impressed that Purest Form were brave enough to do this, but that makes it a even more sad that this is their final music video.

Best bit: Of course it’s the bloody waterfall bit.

Next… a slow download via Netscape Navigator.

Hello Sailor “Raging With The Storm”

This is a very dramatic song, the sort that wouldn’t have been out of place in the mid ’80s. But it’s now the mid ’90s and Hello Sailor are no longer cool dudes in skinny jeans. They are dad rockers.

The dadness is strongly established right at the beginning. The band are setting up for a gig and we catch a glimpse of Dave McArtney holding a small child. After the stage is well and truly set up (and we’re treated to a lingering shot of a bemulleted soundie adjusting a microphone stand), the band are ready to rock out.

The song has a killer chorus, with some hearty nautical themes. It does it actually seem like the kind of song that would be great to see live, but there’s little sense of the audience reaction. During the guitar solo, we hear cheering from the audience, but it’s obviously been dubbed in.

Sometimes the video works. Sometimes it feels like they’re kicking arse at a huge gig. Other times it feels like they’re filming a music video in an empty hall on a Sunday afternoon.

Best bit: the time-lapse soundcheck opening, just like “Pour Some Sugar On Me“.

http://youtu.be/4RMJw3bEzb8

Next… a majestic waterfall.

D-Faction “Down In The Boondocks”

Ok, so D-Faction have taken a folky pop song about the romantic troubles of a country boy and reworked it into a South Pacific reggae song. And that works – small islands can have grotty rural areas just as much as continental countries.

But something weird happens with the video. This cheery song about a boy from the wrong side of the tracks looking for love is illustrated with the band performing the song in a bleak, futuristic industrial setting.

Vent pipes dangle, sparks literally fly and the band are surrounded by ominous-looking grates. And it’s all tinted gold, so it feels like there’s a giant furnace blazing away. Rather than evoking, say, rural East Coast or Northland, instead it’s like they’re prisoners on a slave spaceship, being forced to labour under the cruel eye of an evil overlord.

But despite the video treatment, the song was the highest charting track for D-Faction, enjoying the #10 spot. But just think – if the video had been better, it might have made it to #1.

Best bits: The flames; the fiery flames of fire.

Director: Jonathan King
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… the kings of dadrock.

Cicada “Winter”

“Winter” feels cold. It’s a minimalist song dominated by repetitive bursts of a clear, gangly guitar. The video, directed by Paul Swadel, picks up on that and creates a scratchy, moody world.

The band play the song in a dark space. This footage is mixed with scratchy scribblings, which look like they were influenced by the ground-breaking opening titles of 1995 film “Seven”. We also see flashes of binary code, like a low-fi precursor of “The Matrix”.

I’m trying to figure out this video. It doesn’t quite feel like a traditional music video, made to sell, sell, sell the song. It’s seems more like an artistic work that aims to equal the song.

I don’t feel like I can properly enjoy this video on my laptop. It just seems a little underwhelming on YouTube. It should be projected onto a big screen in a dark room, with a bunch of people who don’t need to google “post rock”.

Best bit: the lead singer’s megaphone microphone.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a bleak dystopian future.

Bic Runga “Drive”

Finally Sony was ready for Bic. “Drive” was the song chosen to launch Bic Runga to the world – or at least New Zealand. It’s all Bic, with just her voice, acoustic guitar playing and a stark emotional song.

The video places Bic in a cool old flat – one of the Courtville apartments in Auckland. The apartment has a bit of shabby chic going on, matched by the video alternating between colour and degraded black and white footage.

Bic hangs out in her apartment, evidently waiting for the boy of her dreams to come and take her for a drive. She simultaenously seems like a teenager, impatiently mooching about (and she was only 19 at the time), and a much older, world-weary woman.

We don’t meet the object of Bic’s yearning. She waits outside her building but the driver never shows up. As a result, the combination of the song and the video create a very melancholic tone. Poor Bic. I want to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be ok.

Best bit: the bright red Body Shop soap, a sign of the ’90s.

Director: Justin Pemberton
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… bros with a megaphone.

Teremoana “Four Women”

Teremoana covers Nina Simone’s “Four Women”. Unlike the original, Teremoana omits the final lines of each verse which would name the woman being sung about. Instead of the song closing with the killer line “My name is Peaches!”, it meanders off with Teremoana murmuring “What do they call me?”

Teremoana’s vocals are laiden with trilling, which has the strange effect of making the lyrics hard to understand in places, as if she’s trying to disguise the fact that it’s actually quite an angry, political song.

The video sees Teremoana dressing as the four women. There’s Aunt Sarah with big hair and a floral dress, Saffronia with smooth hair and a stylish waistcoat, Sweet Thing with a 1960s updo, and tomboy Peaches with her hair in Bjork-style mini buns. All four women have long, talonous fingernails.

It’s filmed in black and white in a stylish cabaret setting with dramatic lighting. Teremoana performs with four quite distinct characters – Aunt Sarah is stressed and shy, Saffronia is confident, Sweet Thing is seductive, and Peaches is bold and twitchy.

The YouTube uploader notes that the song suffered from lack of radio airplay due to its lyrical themes, but says, “Thank goodness a dope ass music video was created which gave it longer television air play.” And indeed the dope assness continues online.

Best bit: Teremoana’s loooong fingernails.

Director: Ross Cunningham
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a dirty old game of cards.

Pumpkinhead “Nark”

narkPumpkinhead stick it to John Banks, who was Minister of Police at the time. Set in a claustrophobic suburban living room, the video alternates between regular footage of the band performing the song and fake-up security camera video. Because, you know, police surveillance.

The song is an extreme mash-up of styles, with a bit of Kris Kross, some Red Hot Chili Peppers, a slice of Suicidal Tendencies, a Nirvana growl and, strangely enough, some of the nu metal sound that didn’t really happen until the late ’90s.

As the band use their funk-pop-rap styles to deal with their snooping neighbours, I can’t help feel that, yeah, they were quite sincere when they made this. They really felt that they were doing something for the good of the country. And with John Banks now the loneliest MP in Parliament, perhaps Pumpkinhead did leave a bit of a legacy.

Best bit: the shocking twist ending.

http://youtu.be/5r3fsQcmhpg

Next… a four-for-one deal.

King Loser “76 Comeback”

The “76 Comeback” video is another one showing the influence of Quentin Tarantino. It’s styled like a 1970s exploitation film, including bold opening titles. It’s goofy but it works because King Loser are so cool. They don’t even have to try to be cool; they just are.

We follow a deadly assassin played by bassist Celia Mancini, clad in a black cat suit, complete with claws. But it’s no disguise. Because it’s the middle of the day, she sticks out, a black silhouette against the grimy grey alleys of pre-fancy Britomart.

While the wailing instrumental of “76 Comback” makes everything sound even cooler, Celia runs around, climbs, drives, shoots, kungfu kicks, explodes and wipes out her bandmates. And, just to prove she’s still on top, she finishes her busy day by changing into an evening gown and taking off on a motorcycle with a mysterious stranger.

This video could have come from no other era than the mid ’90s, but it still works as a fun, low-budget, action extravaganza.

Best bit: Celia’s stylish leap off of a street-level window ledge for no apparent reason.

http://youtu.be/qWGHvFHMiNk

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… Banksie is watching you.

Headless Chickens “Super Trouper”

I once knew a goth guy who loved this song. He wasn’t a Headless Chickens fan or an Abba aficionado, but the power combo of the Chickens covering Abba was what did it for him. That and the “Su-pa-pa trou-pa-pa” chorus.

It’s a song about the loneliness of being a touring pop star, but it’s a situation that could apply just as much to a New Zealand indie industrial rock band. This was the first post-Fiona Chickens recording, so it makes sense that of all the songs the Headless Chickens could have chosen for Flying Nun’s “Abbasalutely” tribute album, they picked the one about the difficulties of being in a band.

The video is shot in black and white, with the band performing on an airport tarmac, including plenty of shots on top of and around planes. It’s a clever setting, a hint at the reality of life on tour: lots of aeroplanes, lots of airports.

The band are all wearing sunglasses. I’m willing to accept that it may have been a very overcast, glary day, but it also makes the Chickens look reluctant. They don’t quite want to connect with their audience, again fitting with the lyrics.

There’s something just not quite right with this. While the video looks great, it all feels a bit like a lazy effort.

Best bit: when the lively backing singer jostles her way into shot.

Director: Jonathan Ogilvie
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a killer catsuit.

Dam Native “Behold My Kool Style”

This video could be described as a bunch of guys sitting around a table, playing poker, smoking and drinking. And it would sound like a typical mid-’90s Tarantino-inspired music video. But no. “Behold My Kool Style” is far beyond that. It is confident, stylish and kool.

It’s not just any old guys sitting around that table; it’s Dam Native in Edwardian suits. The poker table scene alternates with shots of the group posing like early 20th century well dressed Maori gents having their portrait taken at the town photographer. Teremoana Rapley isn’t dressed from the same era, instead she’s wearing a slinky gown. It’s this little touch that firmly keeps the video routed at the other end of the 20th century.

The Jonathan King-directed and NZ Music Award-winning video is shot with sepia tone and scratchy old film ~~effects~~. This makes it feel suggestive of lost footage from an alternate history, a different route the 20th century could have taken.

It takes skill to not only make a video that perfectly works with a song all about cool style, but for that video to still hold up over 15 years later. Behold its cool style.

Best bit: the group portrait. So cool.

Director: Jonathan King
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a day at the airport.