5000 Ways to Love You – Page 44 – Exploring the world of NZ On Air music video funding

Michelle Kazor “Crowded Room”

Expat American Michelle Kazor had enjoyed a lot of radio success with her debut single “In This Life” and a web search shows remnants of breathless PR about her. But it was not to last. “Crowded Room” was her second and final single and video.

The song has a very radio sound to it, a pleasant rock infused number. The video is centred around a truck. But it’s not just any truck. It’s a magical truck.

At the truck depot, Michelle finds the truck full of mannequins, including a horse – and we get a shot of the mannequin company’s logo. But beyond the mannequins she discovers a mini performance area. Oh, how unusual!

Behind the wheel, Michelle heads off into the countryside, picking up all the freaks and rogues she happens to find by the side of the road, including a drummer, a transvestite, and a comedy Mexican. All these people filed into the TARDIS-like truck and become the audience as she performs on the truck stage – the crowded room.

The video doesn’t quite work for me because it’s mixing a pretty straight MOR music video concept with some wacky zany madcap lolz. I think the video was attempting to do the old freaky friends thing, but suffers from a shortage of decent freaky friends.

Best bit: the horse mannequin making another appearance in a paddock.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Director: Ivan Slavov

Next… there’s gonna be a roadblock.

King Kapisi featuring Che Fu “U Can’t Resist Us”

A giant crown-shaped cloud overs above the setting of this hip hop video: it’s a farm. It’s not the first time a New Zealand hip hop video has used this unconventional location. In 2000 Dark Tower’s “You Beauty” threw out the symbolic hip hop rulebook and filmed on a farm.

But while King Kapisi, Che Fu and friends have just as much fun down on the farm, their rural adventure is more focused and more… sheepy. Directed by Chris Graham, the video makes bold use of the landscape and the photogenic farm life.

The video starts with King Kapisi burst out of the middle of a flock of sheep (who have a much happier life than the sheep in the Skeptics’ notorious “AFFCO” video), leading to a livestock auction taken by former All Black Michael Jones. The video is full of cameos, with Inga Tuigamala, Imon Starr (of Rhombus), Oscar Kightley (recently seen in the Ill Semantics “Watching You” video), Nathan Rarere, director Chris Graham, and the late great Peter Fatialofa.

The auction over, King Kapisi hurls around some nunchakus made from jandals, before joining Che and Imon in the woolshed for some shearing. There’s a surreal break in the middle of the song where the three talk in shrill-voiced Kiwispeak on a smoko. “Oh, fair suck of sav, man,” says Che.

And there’s more fun to be had. Che and Kapisi go for a hoon on a tractor with a booming sound system, then as night comes, the younger dudes go on an eel hunt.

Artists go to so much effort trying to make Auckland seem so much more gritty and urban than it actually is. It’s really refreshing to see a video that happily abandons that world and goes in the opposite direction – a day in the countryside.

Best bit: Che Fu flouting the “No lying in wool bins” sign.

Director: Chris Graham
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… it’s a bloody big truck.

Gramsci & Anika Moa “Don’t”

Neither Paul McLaney (aka Gramsci) nor Anika Moa feature in this video. Instead it’s a partially animated adventure involve a woman walking on a tightrope, a man holding the rope tight, and a sweeping panorama.

According the profile at Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision, the “Don’t” video was filmed in an old church, using blue tarpaulins for a DIY chroma-key background (that didn’t even work properly), with the actress playing the showgirl doing all her tightrope walking on the floor.

The background is an animated fantasy version of Wellington, tall buildings, the wide harbour but also unfamiliar snow-capped peaks. As the camera swoops around the tightrope walker, the landscape changes. NZ On Screen also notes that the background was created from still images taken by director Ed Davis.

The background and highwire drama changes and intensifies with the song, an uneasy duet. The tightrope walker does flips and tricks which – even though it’s all fake – still create a splendid tension.

And with all that tension set up, it seems inevitable that the tightrope walker would fall. She does, whooshing through an ever-changing landscape, into the arms of the man who was holding her rope. Well, that’s a happy ending.

“Don’t” won best video at the 2003 New Zealand Music Video Awards.

Best bit: the artistic balancing, impressive even on the flat.

Director: Ed Davis
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… wake up, sheep and people.

Dimmer “Getting What You Give”

A door opens and a man walks in. It’s a computer generated man, walking with a funky slouch, as designed by Dimmer’s drummer Gary Sullivan. The figure is soon joined by identical others, and in single-file they lumber through an ever-changing landscape, past water, flowers, a burning country manor and into a desolate city.

It’s a slow-moving video, hooked on the funk grooves of the song. The video ain’t in no big hurry either. The second half of the video shows the super chilled-out clones taking the subway to the airport.

There are hints of something sinister happening. The city streets are, after all, otherwise deserted, surrounded by barbed-wire-armoured buildings. When the clones go down into the subway, we see it from the perspective of CCTV footage and there’s a lingering shot looking at an inquisitive camera.

I’m at a point where I’m trying to figure if there’s something deeper to the video than the general sense of unease. Is the airport symbolic in a post-9/11 context? I dunno. Well, the video was nominated for best music video at the 2004 New Zealand Music Awards.

Best bit: the garden of flowers, that killer combo of pretty and sinister.

Director: Gary Sullivan
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a tightrope walk.

Blindspott “Phlex”

“Phlex” is Blindspott’s highest charting single. It reached number three, only kept off the top spot by the double whammy of Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard’s American Idol singles (and then chased well away by the almighty “Ignition Remix” the next week).

The “Phlex” video is also significant because – so far in the 5000 Ways adventure – it has the first appearance of the graffiti-style NZ On Air logo, the first major reworking of the original late ’80s logo.

In contrast to the band’s angry dude music of previous singles, “Phlex” has a positive message and is a slower, more subdued song. The video sees the band hanging out at a dude flat, with camouflage duvets, gig poster decor and turntables in the kitchen. There’s even a guy shaving his hair, a full decade before Lorde’s friends did the same in “Royals”.

The camera slowly pans from left to right in every show, giving the feeling that we’re witnesses an ordinary slice of life in the Blindspott house. Lead singer Damien spends much of the video sitting against a wall with the silhouette of a laughing cartoon character right next to his head. It’s distracting, like the cartoon character is laughing at Blindspott for being so serious.

But the video is generally just the band sitting around in the dude flat, all with blank expressions on their faces. No one looks like they’re having a great time, but they don’t look all that miserable either.

The video ends with a graffiti artist painting a giant “Phlex” on the lounge room wall (he’s wearing a respirator, the others in the room aren’t; breathe deep, guys) and this seems symbolic of the way hip hop culture was becoming more mainstream. Here’s a rock ballad (with a bit of turntablism) and it seems like the most natural complement to have some graffiti in there too.

Best bit: the face freshening in the bathroom – most invigorating.

Director: Greg Page
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… send in the clones.

Splitter “Go You Good Thing”

Hey, it’s a Splitter video! This is their seventh and final NZOA-funded video, but the first that I’ve managed to find online. And finally a bit more of Splitter is revealed.

It’s a performance-based video. The band are playing the song in a black studio, illuminated by strategic rock lighting. The camera flows around the band, during the verses, before locking in for some traditional rocking poses in the chorus.

It seems that Splitter were kind of indie and kind of rock – and maybe that’s their problem. With the rock ‘n’ roll revival in full flight by 2002, were Splitter a bit too nerdy and indie to be able to successfully jump on that bandwagon?

On its own, the video is nothing spectacular. But if it’s the only digital remnant of Splitter’s videography, then I’m happy with it. In very sensible terms, it seems like one of those music videos that has taken the funding and used it carefully, ending up with a good looking, low budget video.

Best bit: the glorious, rockin’ guitar solo.

Note: This video has since been removed from YouTube.

Director: Leon Sefton
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a rough ride.

Spa “Neil of Diamonds”

In what has to be one of the most exotic locations for a New Zealand music video, “Neil of Diamonds” is set in Havana, looking like a home movie crossed with the Buena Vista Social Club.

It’s all very scenic. Lively kids hangs out on the streets, the iconic pre-1960 American cars lumber past and the band go fishing. At one point one Spa is seen lying back with a puny cigarette between his lips. Pft. Whatever.

Being a group of young dudes in Cuba, they can’t resist a visit to Real Fabrica de Tabacos Partagás, a cigar factory museum. There the band sample the wares, leading one to mouth to the camera “motherfudger” (or similar).

This leads to a big montage of the band enjoying the town’s nightlife and smoking cigars, including a 16-second shot of one of them slowly walking down a street with a cigarette in his mouth, gazing at the camera, probably wondering if this was actually the high point of his life.

But that’s what the song is about – “when I go out tonight I am the Neil of diamonds”, the chorus proclaims. It’s about going out and feeling like a cool dude, and not worrying about life back in New Zealand, Cuba’s human-rights issues or even morning-after cigar-breath.

Best bit: the old lady smoking the mammoth cigar.

Director: Andy Welch

Next… late to the party.

Nesian Mystik “Unity”

“Unity” was another top-10 hit for Nesian Mystik, and another of their singles built around the theme of Nesian Mystik. It’s an upbeat song with a bit of everything – brass, reggae, hip hop, acoustic guitar – all part of the Nesian experience.

The video is a fun adventure, casting the band as members of a shadowy agency, also called Nesian Mystik. They’re summoned to action by a mysterious black dog. There’s work to be done.

Awa hits the streets delivering boxes of “Nesian Pizza” (well, they couldn’t have called it Mystik Pizza) that contain secret messages instead of pizza. Actually, I would be disappointed if I got a scrap of paper saying “The Movement’s coming” instead of a delicious Hawaiian pizza.

By the way, part of Awa’s verse was previously the chorus of the anti-GMO charity supergroup song “Public Service Announcement” (including Nesian Mystik), which was released about a year prior.

The rest of the band can be found in various disguises around town – delivering newspapers, driving a bus, and posing as pot-banging homeless buskers. Band members also take over various television programmes, shocking their families to see Nesian news, cooking, gardening and music shows. All that’s missing is a home-renovation show.

The band finally meet up to revel in their unity. Yep, they’re all together so you had just better watch out. Or something.

Best bit: the group’s clever disguise as a crazed mariachi band.

Director: David Garbett
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… big fat cigars.

Damien Binder “Till Now”

There’s something strange about Damien Binder videos. They tend to start off seeming quite ordinary, but then unusual things happen. This one reminds me of Betchadupa’s “Life Will be the Same” video, the tale of a man out driving on a dark and stormy night.

In this case, Damien is behind the wheel. He’s in a dazed and confused state, as if perhaps he just woke up and found himself in a strange car. He starts the engine and hits the road, but is readily distracted by all the shiny things in the car.

He goes to light a cigarette with a Zippo from the glovebox, but it won’t light. Tragically it appears to be a vintage a vintage motorcar with no built-in lighter, which is a pity because lighting a cigarette with the hot coil is the second most best thing you can do with a cigarette in a car. (The best thing is smoking as you drive, feeling like a cool dude.)

Distracted by a road map, he appears to hit a cyclist, but he doesn’t stop and goes back to the map. Later he appears to hit a woman standing in the middle of the road, but she appears in the passenger seat, still wet from the rain. Then he hits a stop sign.

It’s a driving disaster. Fortunately some red and blue lights are flashing, ready to take this menace off the road. I’d like to see this story continued a part of an episode of Motorway Patrol, seeing what the officers make of the guy who tries to blame his bad driving on a phantom hitcher.

Best bit: the headlights from oncoming cars that never seem to pass Damien’s car.

Director: Jonathan King

Next… a dog’s tale.

Mightyscoop “About Myself”

This video is all about a guy who is in love with a sex doll. This is a known phenomena, portrayed in the 2002 BBC documentary Guys and Dolls, and later the 2007 feature film Lars and the Real Girl. But in both those cases, the fellows in question are in love with RealDolls, the expensive and lifelike silicone mannequins. But in the star of the “About Myself” vid is in love with one of those cheap blow-up sex dolls, more used for their comedy value than practical applications.

He wakes up, struggles getting the doll set up at the breakfast table, where she ‘declines’ his offer of a banana. Sigh. The couple have a romantic picnic, then it’s off to band practice. But – because society is cruel – he can’t take the bus and must walk, making him late.

His bandmates are angry and end up throwing the doll around the room. This bit is actually a bit uncomfortable to watch – men violently throwing a likeness of a woman around. There’s no comedy, it’s just creepy.

Dejected, the guy walks off dragging the doll, seemingly not in love with her anymore. A little dog attacks the doll, and somehow that’s the video’s lone bit of actual comedy. Back in town, the dude is distracted by a hot store mannequin, leaving the blow-up doll to be found by another person. But as soon as it’s gone, he realises how much he wants/needs/loves it. Pft, too late, mate.

This was Mightyscoop’s final NZ On Air video. It seems to follow the pattern of a certain kind of new artist – they get a few videos funded, the market is tested, but if nothing happens they’re on their own.

Best bit: the doll’s carefully braided hair.

Next… motorway patrol.