2002 – Page 3 – 5000 Ways to Love You

Goldenhorse “Maybe Tomorrow”

The “Maybe Tomorrow” video takes us deep into the world of Goldenhorse at the peak of their winery-tour powers. “Maybe Tomorrow” was their highest charting single – peaking at number 10, and the video is their straightest. There are no vampires or caravan curiosities. Instead the video is just Goldenhorse being elegant an New Zealand pop band.

It’s shot in grainy old film (I don’t know much about film formats, but I’m going to guess it’s Super 8). It gives it a cosy, nostalgic feeling, as if this song has just always been around.

We see Goldenhorse performing at a small venue. Rather than bold rock lighting, their stage illumination is provided by the glow of domestic lamps. (You know who else had tons of lamps in their music video? The Holiday Makers.) Sometimes it has a sophisticated ambience, other times it’s just a bit gloomy.

We also join the band down at the beach, where they’re frolicking in the sea. It’s very New Zealand – or at least how homesick Kiwis on their OE, stuck indoors on a miserable winter’s day in England like to imagine things are back home.

It’s a lovely video for a lovely song, and normally that’s where I’d end thing. But a couple of years later – 2004 – the world of “Maybe Tomorrow” got more interesting. First the song was used in an ad for instant jelly, running with the feeling of New Zealand outdoorsy joy. But then a few years after – around 2006 – a second video was made for the song, this time without NZ On Air funding. And this time it was back to the slightly askew world of the earlier Goldenhorse video.

This time Kirsten plays a perfect housewife who is preparing snacks in her kitchen. We also see the rest of the band playing the song in a dark room. It turns out – gasp! – Kirsten is holding the band captive in her house. Was this dark video treatment a reaction against the very nice world of the earlier video and the even nicer world of the jelly ad? I like to think so – an inherent weirdness in the band that cannot be suppressed.

Best bit: Kirsten’s head-bang finale.

Director: Rachel Davies
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… fish and chips as a metaphor.

Evermore “Slipping Away”

slippThis was the second funded video for Evermore, and they’re still at the stage where they felt like a high school band slowly figuring out who they are. Lead singer Jon has a comedically affected way of singing, introducing weird vowels to almost every word (“thing” becomes “theee-uhn”), that he has long since ditched.

The “Slipping Away” video is really simple and it looks like a low-budget job. It’s just the band performing on stage at a venue. It looks like a bar, though we never see the audience. The performance area has a low ceiling and it looks like it would just take one moderately enthusiastic leap from a band member so see them bumping the ceiling tiles with their heads.

Nothing much happens in the video. They got the funding, they made a video and it got played on the telly. It’s a perfectly ordinary early-career music video. If they hadn’t struck it lucky in Australia, this might just be another footnote in the history of NZ On Air funding, but as it stands, it’s good to come across a band in their younger, awkward years, while they’re still figuring things out.

Best bit: Jon’s backlit hair, an accidental ’80s hair metal throwback effect.

Next… old lamps for new.

DJ Raw feat. Che Fu, Flowz and KOS 163 “Downtown”

DJ Raw has been previously known with for his turntable work as part of King Kapisi’s Overstayers crew. But for “Downtown” he has his own go, with guest vocals from Che Fu, and KOS 163 and Flowz of the Footsouljahs.

It’s a sunny Wellington day and the dudes have met up for a game of basketball. They’re playing on the urban wasteland next to Te Papa that was eventually redeveloped into Waitangi Park (with a proper ball court). But back in 2002, it was an old car park surrounded by graffiti-covered hoardings – much more photogenic for music videos.

When the evening comes the lads head off to a nightclub where there are plenty of young women to catch their eye. Much of the song is about the men’s reaction to the women, and depending on who’s rapping (or singing), the tone varies from romantic to sexual.

The evening ends with the lads sitting around at the nightclub joined by a large number of women. There’s only a slight hint of awkwardness, which actually makes the scene feel more authentic than if all the ladies were totally into it.

The concept of the video is nothing new, and it actually feels a bit dated. Like, if this had been produced in 1998, it might have seemed fresh. But in 2002, 2003 it’s just not as interesting. Weirdly enough, I’m most excited by scenes of pre-development Waitangi Park.

Best bit: the bitch face given by a club girl after the “girl, we can be together but nothing is forever” bit.

Next… live action brothers.

Detour “She Walked In”

Detour are a Christian rock band, signed to Parachute Records. They have since changed their name to Detour180 to make it clear that they aren’t just veering off to the side – it’s a total 180 degree detour.

“She Walked In” sounds influenced by Creed, aiming for spiritual grandness. It seems like a love song, but then with talk of a “beautiful vessel”, maybe they’re talking about Mary. Or maybe it’s just a polite way to describe a vadge.

The video is only available on the band’s website and it’s in a tiny little Flash player that can’t be expanded to full screen. So I’m left looking at wee figures rocking out in a dark warehouse while a sad African orphan looks up from a World Vision ad underneath.

So, the band are playing in front of an audience that are doing a really good job of looking like an actual audience and not friends of the band roped into helping the video. But like most music video fake audiences, everyone has their hands in the air, waving like they just don’t care. This is what I imagine Parachute was like in the early years.

At one point there’s a shot of a blonde woman standing at the back of the audience. She doesn’t really seem to be into the band. That would suck – if the subject of your love song didn’t really like your band. But as it’s so hard to see what’s going on in the video, maybe the woman does end up down by the stage, waving her hands in air.

Best bit: the “Detour” road sign leading the way to the concert.

Note: the video was previously only available in a tiny format on the band’s website, but it’s now available on the Christian video site God Tube. Thanks, God Tube!

Director: Greg Riwai
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… basketball in the museum car park.

Craig McKenzie “Funky Little Hip Hop Angel”

Christian musician Craig McKenzie last showed up as part of the hip hop duo Sumix, who had a funded video for their song “Jump House”. That video isn’t around, but you should go and listen to “Jump House” right now. It has the most incredibly high-energy verses, and a chorus that sounds so intensely Christian, like it ought to be headlining at Parachute ’96.

“Funky Little Hip Hop Angel” has a similar energy, but this time it’s a love song, a tale of unrequited love, when Craig spies a hot chick down at the shops.

The video follows Craig as he walks down the street, sometimes observing his Jandal-clad feet, other times revealing that he’s carrying a rabbit in a cage. As well as this, Craig’s love dilemma is illustrated by stick figures and really cheesy computer graphics.

After wandering town with his rabbit and lusting after a couple of ladies, Craig arrives at the pet store where he works (oh, so that’s why he was carrying the rabbit), and there he gives the rabbit to a little girl who’s excited to get her new pet. Well, that’s cute.

The most interesting thing about the video is that all the main players get an on-screen name caption – there’s Craig, the rabbit, the pet shop boss, but also the two chicks – Jo Price and Joy Ramirez. I like really that. Rather than just being music video hotties, they are allowed to be actual people with names.

This was Craig McKenzie’s one and only solo video to be funded, which is a kind of a pity. I will miss the crazy energy of his music and videos.

Best bit: the quadruple split-screen effect on the rabbit.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision
Director: Greg Riwai

Next… men of every Creed.

Blindspott “Lit Up”

Having built up a substantial fanbase (and that’s something that Blindspott have always been good at), they finally had the opportunity to show off with a live video.

The video consists of live footage shot at a Blindspott gig, and there’s a little bit of stage banter at the beginning, where it is established that there are a large number of Westies in the audience.

The video is cut to match the dynamics of the song – the constrained intro roaring into the hearty boganny verses. The editing manages to disguise the fast that the camera work isn’t all that great sometimes. The self-designed parental-advisory sticker from the band’s debut album keeps flashing up on screen, reminding its audience that – check this out, Mum! – there are swear words in the song.

There’s both black and white footage and colour, and both lots work. The black and white is as metal as a pair of black jeans, while the colour is full of the energy and fire of Blindspott’s live shows.

The song ends with very sedate outro, and the video goes with that a bit too much. As a result, things just fade away, where it feels like there should be more connection with the audience – a bit of cheering. But it still feels like a good document of Blindspott on their way up.

Best bit: the brief flashes of spider silhouettes, just to alienate the arachnophobes.

https://youtu.be/CSFhe0u-9dE

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a distraction.

Bic Runga “Listening for the Weather”

With “Get Some Sleep”, Bic had a song about life as a touring musician, but the video was about the whimsical adventures of Bic’s mobile radio station. “Listening for the Weather” is another song about live on the road (and the relationships left behind), but this time the video is all about Bic’s life as a jobbing musician.

We find her on stage, cheerfully performing the song with a harmonica wired around her neck. The video makes the process of a live gig seem very workmanlike, but also satisfyingly artful. Outside of the live venues, there’s footage taken from the windows of cars and aeroplanes, scenic New Zealand, scenes from provincial streets and urban scenes. Every moment of life on the road seems glorious and cool.

The tour stops by the Opera House in Wellington and the Civic theatre in Auckland, but the old Southland Country Music Association building in Invercargill also makes an appearance. There are also quite a few shots of the different shoes Bic wears throughout her travels, but they are quite cool shoes.

“Listening for the Weather” is a pretty sedate song, and the video goes with that feeling. It seems to be a good reflection of where Bic was at the time of her Beautiful Collision songs, finding an more mature, slightly weary voice.

Note: Director Paul Casserly says the video was shot mostly on DV cam and Super 8, but that DJ Stipson “did all the really nice shots on a 16mm”.

Best bit: the glamorous old lady revelling at the Christmas parade.

Director: Paul Casserly

Next… entertaining the westies.

Anika Moa “Mother”

The “Mother” video takes the familiar path of the close-up lip-sync, made most famous by Sinead O’Connor in “Nothing Compares 2 U” (though without anything that would prompt an open letter from Ms O’Connor). But Anika is not alone in this. A few seconds into the song she’s joined by another version of herself. Not an evil twin, just another Anika.

While Left Anika sings most of the song, Right Anika joins in to harmonise and has a few verses of her own. Left Anika is more thoughtful and serious, but Right Anika is full of energy, unable to keep still. I like to think that this is what the Breeders were like, back when it was just the teenaged Deal sisters duetting on country songs at biker bars.

Both halves seem to have no edits in them, which means Anika was able to two different lip-syncs playing two different characters. Even though Ms Moa is known for her jolly character, she’s able to knuckle down and give a serious performance (twice!).

The song itself is an ode to Anika’s mum, so it’s nice to think that such is her feeling of aroha for her mum that took two Anikas to really convey the emotion. Awww…

Best bit: Right Anika’s moves during the dance break.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Director: Justin Pemberton

Next… life on the road.

50Hz featuring Ladi6 “Seek Know More”

Ladi6 appears in this video as a sort of career seer, narrating the tale of a man conflicted about his role in the high-flying corporate world.

The man in question emerges from Wellington railway station one morning and has an odd moment. A life-changing thought seems to have hit him. But maybe he was just glad to be out of Lower Hutt.

At work, he’s at a meeting, sitting at the head of the table in front of a decorative kimono on the wall. Channelling Tom Cruise, he leaps up on the table and gives a spirited speech, which gets an enthusiastic reaction from his colleagues. This move gets him the keys to a very fancy car (licence plate: I) and he has a hoon around Lambton Quay. Life made.

But strange things are afoot. Suddenly the man is on a rattly old city bus, a gold coin in hand. He stops off at Zambesi and gets a new suit, kindly giving the empty Zambesi bag to a homeless man. Here you go, chap, here’s an empty paper bag 4 u.

Back at work, things are different in the boardroom – there’s a different person sitting at the head of the table. The man pulls out a folder and slides it to the new head. This guy is not impressed by the folder’s contents and throws it back. The hunter has become the hunted.

I like that things are a bit surreal. If it had gone for a more literal depiction of the song’s lyrics, the video would risk seeming cheesy. But weirdness is very forgiving.

Best bit: that the homeless man is literally across the road from the Zambesi store.

Director: Mike Bridgman
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… twice as nice.

Unique “Outspoken”

Oh, what the hell is going on here? It’s some sort of attempt at a soft porn parody that makes the unrated version of “Blurred Lines” look like a profound feminist statement in comparison.

Unique plays both himself (the cocky young MC) and an Afro-wigged plumber who is attending to a major plumbing emergency at the home of the cocky young MC (seriously – every bit of plumbing in the house seems to have something wrong with it). As Plumber Unique gets to work, he discovers the house is full of party girls. Unlike most people, they find the sight of a man in a $8 nylon party wig to be highly arousing.

The song is a standard bragging anthem, but it features some really unusual lines, like this one: “I fantasise that in the future every day will be just like Easter.” What, a life of chocolate bunnies, egg decorating and church services to remember how Jesus Christ died for our sins? If you insist.

The non-wigged version of Unique can be found in his kitchen, where a party girl starts stripping off and Unique begins humping her on the kitchen bench. In the bathroom, Plumber Unique fixes the shower, whereupon two of the party girls get in and do a bit of awkward topless faux lesbianism. It is so awkward that it gives me newfound respect for pornstars and the directors of porn who make it all look so natural.

I found a description I wrote of the video in 2002, nothing that “in the middle of the video suddenly a fake ad comes on featuring the two ladies, naked in the shower.” This is missing from the version online. The shower action is just presented as part of the regular video, with no break into a fake ad. Curious.

After all this, the video seems to run out of ideas (and really, where can you go from that?), so it just peters out with a montage of the party girls and the two Uniques trying to be cool dudes.

It’s such a lame video. Apart from horrible stuff like the women being in the video merely as sexual accessories, it looks and feels really cheap. But most revealing – every room in Unique’s crib is painted the same bland beige colour.

I have this memory of the video playing on some late night music video show and the presenters having a dilemma like “It’s a bit rude, but we really want to support New Zealand music.” But no – supporting New Zealand music doesn’t mean having to support shit.

Best bit: n/a

Warning: This video is totally Not Safe For Work. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this post alone actually triggered some keyword filters to kick in at some workplaces. Be warned.

Next… New Zealand has got talent.