5000 Ways to Love You – Page 71 – Exploring the world of NZ On Air music video funding

Salmonella Dub “Johnny”

Salmonella ditch the barbecue and get all film noir with the “Johnny” video. When we meet Johnny, he’s either having a terrible dream or undergoing brainwashing. Either way, the Salmonella Dub eye logo is emblazoned on his chest, and he’s just woken up to find himself at the corporate HQ of Salmonella Dub, Inc.

The band suspiciously eye this dodgy looking fellow who had ended up in their highrise Auckland boardroom. He’s given a package and ends up going to a night club. There he encounters a femme fatale who is all seductive glances and hair. There’s also tense conversations with goons involving guns, the mysterious package and eyebrows.

The femme fatale seduces Johnny. She has a cigarette, but it turns out to be the same variety that the Penguin smoked on Batman. She blows a poisonous gas in his face, knocking him out.

Johnny wakes up and discovered he’s in the back of a convertible, travelling on a scenic bush road. He leaps out of the car, but the goons are soon on his trail. Deep into the bush he runs, eventually coming across a dam. There’s gunfire (crikey!) and Johnny commandeers the abseiling set-up of a nearby DOC worker and sets off down the dam.

There’s a tense 14-second gap where Johnny stands at the edge of the dam. Is he gonna jump? No, he’s going to climb down with the abseiling ropes. The chasing thug pulls at the ropes before strapping himself onto a second rope, chasing after Johnny.

This results in one of the greatest, most ambitious scenes in a New Zealand music video: a choreographed fight between two men on abseiling ropes, halfway down a dam. As far as ridiculous yet awesome cinematic things involving dams, it is second only to the opening scenes of “GoldenEye”.

At the bottom of the dam, the femme fatale awaits, smashing him with her gun. The goons have the package and they reveal it to Johnny. It’s… a snack-size pizza box with the Salmonella Dub logo painted inside it. Wait, what? Someone needs to teach the Dub what a MacGuffin is.

Best bit: the mid-’90s retro Tarantino vibe.

Director: Greg Riwai
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… can you feel the claustrophobia?

Rubicon “The Captain”

Oh, Rubicon! At the time they seemed quite silly. A punk-pop band fronted by Marshall from “Shortland Street”, with a bass player who had a Helen Clark haircut and a guitarist with braided pigtails. But yeah, they were young and silly and just being dudes in their early 20s, jumping around and having fun.

“The Captain” was their first single and it’s lyrically a bit bleaker than their later singles. “I am the captain of this ship,” sneers singer Paul. “And I think that life’s a gyp!” Steady on, dude!

But the video is determined to cheer things up. It starts with the pyjama-clad band snoozing in bed together. A smiley face alarm clock rings and they quickly grab their surfboards and head off to the beach to partake in some (green screen) surfing.

Next is a boxing/wrestling match between Rubicon and the Badguys, a trio of goons wearing clown masks. Rubicon are wearing netball uniforms with G, J and P on their bibs – first name initials rather than court positions. The lads successfully kick the arse of the Badguys. Yeah, I really like the symbolism of this comedic battle representing the struggles of life itself.

I’m not much of a fan of the Rubicon logo. It’s everywhere in the video and it looks like the sort of thing that small businesses had in the ’90s, designed in MS Paint. But I reckon this is the first video where a band has not only featured its logo in the video, but put it all over the video.

All that’s left is for Rubicon to rock out, giving an energetic performance in front of an appreciative audience, including crowd surfing. And so dawns the age of teen pop punk.

Best bit: the band’s Monkees-like living arrangements.

Director: Ian McCarroll
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… Mr Kiss Kiss Dub Dub

King Kapisi “Screems from da Old Plantation”

This video feels like Samoa. The cloudy skies laden with moisture, the packed buses, cute kids, majestic waterfalls and coconuts to show you.

It’s directed by Joe Lonie and it’s easily one of the best videos he’s directed, rightly winning Best Video at the 2001 bNet Music Awards. While there are traces of the trademark Lonie gimmick style, it’s much richer and more human than his other videos.

For much of the video King Kapisi is hooning around on the back of a truck. It’s reminiscent of Lonie’s video for Eye TV where they perform the song “Dynamite” on the back of a truck while going up One Tree Hill. In that video the location didn’t really have anything to do with the song, but in “Screems” there’s a very strong connection. The song is all about Samoa, as is the location. And a historical bonus – the video shows vehicles driving on the right-hand side of the road, before Samoa’s 2009 switch to the left.

But going back a bit, the video starts with King Kapisi and his DJ doing a broadcast in a local radio station. People around the island tune in on their boomboxes – little kids showering, a man scraping out a coconut, a dude hanging outside a fale with more little kids. Everywhere the song is heard, it makes people happy. And as the NZ On Screen description notes, it’s taking the hip hop video away from its predictable inner-city setting and taking it to scenes of domestic life on a Pacific island.

The “Screems” video is also notable for featuring product placement, the first I can remember seeing in an NZOA video. The product in question is King Kapisi’s own Overstayer brand t-shirts, reclaiming the term as a badge of honour. (And King Kapisi, Teremoana Rapley and their kids still make Overstayer clothing).

There’s something very perfect about this video. Everything just comes together and it doesn’t just just look good, it feels good.

Best bit: the bus following the truck, hazard light flashing.

Director: Joe Lonie
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… aye aye, cap’n.

Eye TV “One Day Ahead”

Eye TV go for a simple performance-based video for “One Day Ahead”. They’re playing on stage at a theatre but with their backs to the empty auditorium. The video has been shot with the song sped up and then slowed down in edit, giving the everything a dreamy feel.

The video was directed by Greg Page and it shows his strength – capturing a band’s live energy. The sped-up/slowed-down trick has a nice side effect – because miming to a Chipmunk version of your song is kind of silly, the band all look genuinely happy, something that’s hard to achieve in a video.

I need to comment on lead singer Sean’s hair. It’s starkly bleached blonde. Now, I know this look was fashionable in the ’90s. Nathan from Zed did it. Even Justin Timberlake once did his hair like this. But looking at it now in the ’10s, it seems like peacocking, a practise used in the “pick-up artist” community where a man uses outlandish dress to get the attention of unsuspecting women. So, hey ladies, check this out – bleach blonde hair, hoop earrings and… a soulful, uplifting pop song.

But the video isn’t trying to get in anyone’s pants and so doesn’t let Sean’s hair take over. The song has a Manic Street Preachers sound and the video generally keeps things pretty low key. There’s one moment of wildness, though. In the middle of the song the slow-down action gets crazy, looking like they did one take totally over the top. Drums are thrashed, the keyboard teeters, and rockstar leaps are made.

The song ends by fading out and the video ends with a close-up of someone’s foot twisting to the beat, implying that the song is going on forever.

Best bit: the keyboard player’s internal struggle between wanting to have a bad-ass rock star freak out but not actually wanting his keyboard to smash on the floor.

Director: Greg Page
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… tasi, lua, tolu, fa.

Deep Obsession “You Got The Feeling”

With the previous two Deep Obsession videos both being set in a strange sci-fi/fantasy world, it’s refreshing to discover this video is set in the real world. Well, kind of.

“You Got The Feeling” is based in the comfortingly ordinary environment in a motel. YouTube uploader NZLutz notes it was “the then already closed Blue Dolphin Motel in Parnell, Auckland”. In a room, a shaggy-haired cleaner vacuums the room. He spies a hand-held film camera on a bed and takes a look through the viewfinder. Whoa! When he looks through the camera, he sees a party taking place in that very room. See, they couldn’t just make a video set in the real world.

This cool toy is way more interesting than vacuuming a boring floor! Work duties aborted, the cleaner spends his time looking at the Deep Obsession party taking place via the camera. It’s not just Zara and Vanessa larging it; they’re joined by dozens of really good looking people.

The cleaner follows the party out to the patio where some formation dancing happens. It’s reminiscent of the dancing in Britney Spears “… Baby One More Time” video crossed with a Les Mills class, all halterneck belly tops and bootleg trousers.

The party movies to the pool and another motel staffer discovers the cleaner pervily lurking around the pool. What would happen if he took the camera with him to other places, like the supermarket? Would he discover a disco in the cat food aisle, or a lone hot person trying to figure out which is the right rice for risotto.

The motel boss has noticed that the cleaner has been neglecting his work and yells at him, which is totally understandable. But the cleaner has seen the good life. He wants more. Thinking outside the square, the cleaner turns the camera on himself and finds himself inside the party. Woo!

But what’s going to happen when the party ends? Who’ll clean up the mess?

Best bit: the random partygoing dude wearing a sheer shirt that reveals his man-nipples.

Director: Jesse Warn
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… slo-mo no-go rock show.

Zed “Glorafilia”

Glorafilia is a pretty young woman who appears to be in a chaste love triangle with Ben and Nathan from Zed. I’m not sure why drummer Adrian doesn’t get to be involved, other than that he’s just the drummer.

The lyrics mention Glorafilia as “tying ribbons in her hair”, which is depicted with an elastic hairband tying up her white-girl dreads, just a bottle of Pantene away from returning to their natural silky state. And speaking of hair, Nathan Zed has bleached his hair for this video. It’s so new there’s no regrowth, so it looks more like albinism.

Anyway, the trio are off to school where we discover them mucking around in the science lab. This is not like Edward and Bella flirting over flatworms – Ben Zed manages to set his bunsen burner alight.

The three of them escape the cruel world of science and head to the beach. The two boys are in the front with Glorafilia lazing in the back of their convertible. Of all the possible seating combinations, this is the safest. Just imagine if it was Glorafilia in the front and the boys in the back. Hilariously, the drummer is following on a motorbike. He has a girl pillion passenger with him because it would be really awkward otherwise. (“Dude, why is the drummer following us alone on his bike?”)

The gang arrive at the beach, chill out in someone’s parents’ fancy beach house, have a singalong down by the shore, then a spot of beach volleyball, and a final campfire singalong. At it’s at the campfire that Glorafilia reaches out and touches Ben on the shoulder. Dude! Duuude! You’re in!

The thing I really like about Zed’s videos is they never try to be more than what Zed are. This is a popular teen band making music for teens and their videos always show that life.

Best bit: the magical paper dart that shows Zed playing.

Director: Scott Cleator
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Tadpole “Backdoor”

There were always rumours that this song was about buttsex. Fortunately I found a definitive response, courtesy of a track-by-track commentary [which now, cruelly, is no longer online] by lead singer Renee herself who explained the lyrics of “Backdoor” thusly:

It is about our struggle thus far to make it in the New Zealand music industry, and the initial frustration of trying to get our music played on radio, TV – or anywhere really. The ‘backdoor’ part came about because we felt we were never going to be accepted by the student radio stations, we’d just have to come in through the back door somehow. And yes – for those who want to know, the metaphor of anal sex is intended. I liken our struggle to getting buggered over, and over, and over again. In a very loving and tongue in cheek way.

See, the buttsexee becomes the buttsexor. Ok, now that we have that sorted, let’s look at the video. It’s set in two places. The first is a cool industrial setting, inside some sort of factory or plant. It’s lit up with bright, flashing rock lights and Renee looks very glamorous.

The second setting is outdoors, in a grim industrial setting. It’s a grey rainy day and Renee emerges from the backdoor of a building. She’s dressed all in black and her hair is lank, looking like Carrie from Homeland on a secret mission/bad mental health day.

All around her the other members of Tadpole are dressed in white boilersuits and hardhats, rolling tyres around and tossing packages to each other. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on here. It’s a Joe Lonie video, so it seems like there should be some trick to it all. Are they actually moving backwards? Has it been slowed down? Maybe it’s just one long shot through a bleak industrial area, as a metaphor for struggling in the music industry. So that would mean the glamorous indoor scenes equal buttsex.

It’s curious. There has been a genuine attempt to feature the other band members, but they just don’t stand out as much as Renee does. This also happens with the videos for Fur Patrol and Stellar. As much as these groups are bands, they all come with charismatic lead singers who are a natural fit in front of the camera. Imagine a Shihad video that let Phil, Tom and Karl fade into the background.

Anyway, by this point in their history, Tadpole were enjoying chart success. Their backdoor entry to the music biz had worked. But the question now is, what sort of metaphor would describe the rest of their career?

Best bit: Renee’s Sporty Spice high ponytail.

Director: Joe Lonie
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

The Stereo Bus “Touchdown”

The “Touchdown” video is based on a continuous pan from left to right. Against a plain white background, various band members pop in and out of frame, along with a dog, a bottle, a chair, and other domestic items. It reminds me of a suburban version of the first 15 seconds of INXS’s “I Need You Tonight” video.

The video has a very minimal feel to it, so it’s the moments of liveliness that really stand out. Lead singer Dave Yetton gets most of the close-ups, having pretty much perfected the art of singing close-up camera-face emotion from his previous videos with the JPS Experience and the Stereo Bus.

The song feels melancholic and that combined with the minimalist video threatens to produce a cure for insomnia. Fortunately guitarist Jason Faafoi – who at the time was also Jason From What Now – has a mesmerising star quality that the other members don’t. Even when he’s doing something as ordinary as sitting at a table, he’s much more interesting than the other band members who happily play their part in the background.

Every time Jase comes on screen I’m like “Yay! It’s Jason!” Even though he’s still being a blank-faced Stereo Bus dude, he’s smizing, bringing some secret joy to the video.

After a six-year period dominated by the digital orgies of Supergroove and the twisted rock worlds of Shihad, the simple effects of “Touchdown” won Best Video at the 2001 New Zealand Music Awards.

Best bit: when Jason’s bottle misses the rubbish bin.

Directors: Michael Lunsdale, Alex Sutherland
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Stellar “Every Girl”

>A girl walks into a bar. The girl in this case is played by Boh Runga and the bar is staffed by the other members of Stellar. Immediately, a man walks up to Boh hands her a $20 note. It’s been defaced, with “Can I buy you a drink or” disrespectfully scrawled across the Queen’s face, and “would you rather have the money?” on the karearea side. What should she do, Timaru? The money or the drink?

Boh takes the money and runs to the bar where she purchases something that looks like a Red Bull and vodka. The $20 is given as change to a blonde woman, who has evidently purchased a $30 glass of red wine with a $50 note. She staggers to the dance floor where a sleazy guy tries macking on her. She pulls the $20 out of her top and shoves it at him. This is all starting to resemble the 1993 film “Twenty Bucks”, which follows the travels of a $20 bill in an American city.

Sleazy guy buys a drink, and again the $20 finds a new owner in the form of a woman who lip-syncs the line “I don’t need a man to complicate me”. She brings two cocktails over to her ladyfriend. Liquored up, they rush off to the loos for some adult fun, shoving the magical $20 at another woman who’s loitering in the loos. This woman wets a paper towel and we get a close-up of her wiping her armpits. Yay.

Armpit lady hits the dancefloor and gets down with a boofy-haired guy, who then pickpockets the $20. Are all the men in this bar douchebags? But karma catches up with the thief. The $20 falls out of his pocket and Boh eventually finds it again.

If you’re wondering what Boh has been doing during all this, well, she spends most of the time dancing, with frequent close-ups showing her flat stomach. The rediscovery of the $20 is quite enough for her and she leaves with it, perhaps to continue the chaotic path of the twenty at another bar.

This video hasn’t aged well. A bar full of people dressed in turn-of-the-millennium finery doesn’t look fresh or sexy in 2012. So I have to keep reminding myself that all the hair and all the clothes were once the dopeness.

Best bit: the bathroom payoff, a modern etiquette.

Shihad “Pacifier”

It almost goes without saying that the “Pacifier” video is largely based on “A Clockwork Orange”. Except, judging by the YouTube comments, some whippersnappers haven’t seen the film and angrily accuse Shihad of ripping of Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” video.

But with the lineage settled, the next question is why is the “Pacifier” video so strongly based on “A Clockwork Orange”? I’d guess it was chosen to contrast the ‘ultra-violence’ of “A Clockwork Orange” with the peaceful wish of Shihad’s lyrics. Except being a music video, it can’t actually show any violence. It’s just implied with intense stares coming from droog Jon.

Back when this video was first released, I remember discussing it at the late great NZmusic.com. It bothered me that the video had borrowed so much from “A Clockwork Orange” but had done so little with it.

It made me think of Joseph Kahn’s brilliantly fun video for the Faith No More track “Last Cup of Sorrow”. That video is based on the Hitchcock film “Vertigo”. It starts off being a pretty faithful reproduction of the original, then it gets deliciously weird.

I mentioned this on the NZmusic.com forum and was surprised when Tom from Shihad (a forum regular) commented to say he kind of agreed. He’d not been convinced by the premise of the video, but the band being a democracy, he was happy to go along with it.

And more than a decade later, I still have the same issue with the video. The concept of “Pacifier” seems little more than, “Hey, we should do it like A Clockwork Orange!” Even Rob Zombie added his own bits.

When the song concludes with a euphoric “Come on, let’s take a look outside”, it seems a missed opportunity to use some lovely New Zealand outdoorsness, the sort that features in Shihad’s video for “A Day Away”. I want to feel the stress and tension of the lyrics, then have a wave of soothing love and calmness wash over. I don’t want to see giant codpieces.

But there’s one difference between my old thoughts on NZmusic.com and now: the name change. A couple of years later, Shihad felt compelled to change their name and settled on Pacifier. That brings a certain melancholic feeling to the scenes at the milk bar with “Shihad Pacifier” emblazoned on the walls, like the rebranding was kicking off before anyone knew it was going to happen.

Best bit: the droogs hooning around a Shell petrol station.

Director: Jolyon Watkins
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next: would you rather have the money?