2013 – Page 6 – 5000 Ways to Love You

Detour “She Walked In”

Detour are a Christian rock band, signed to Parachute Records. They have since changed their name to Detour180 to make it clear that they aren’t just veering off to the side – it’s a total 180 degree detour.

“She Walked In” sounds influenced by Creed, aiming for spiritual grandness. It seems like a love song, but then with talk of a “beautiful vessel”, maybe they’re talking about Mary. Or maybe it’s just a polite way to describe a vadge.

The video is only available on the band’s website and it’s in a tiny little Flash player that can’t be expanded to full screen. So I’m left looking at wee figures rocking out in a dark warehouse while a sad African orphan looks up from a World Vision ad underneath.

So, the band are playing in front of an audience that are doing a really good job of looking like an actual audience and not friends of the band roped into helping the video. But like most music video fake audiences, everyone has their hands in the air, waving like they just don’t care. This is what I imagine Parachute was like in the early years.

At one point there’s a shot of a blonde woman standing at the back of the audience. She doesn’t really seem to be into the band. That would suck – if the subject of your love song didn’t really like your band. But as it’s so hard to see what’s going on in the video, maybe the woman does end up down by the stage, waving her hands in air.

Best bit: the “Detour” road sign leading the way to the concert.

Note: the video was previously only available in a tiny format on the band’s website, but it’s now available on the Christian video site God Tube. Thanks, God Tube!

Director: Greg Riwai
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… basketball in the museum car park.

Craig McKenzie “Funky Little Hip Hop Angel”

Christian musician Craig McKenzie last showed up as part of the hip hop duo Sumix, who had a funded video for their song “Jump House”. That video isn’t around, but you should go and listen to “Jump House” right now. It has the most incredibly high-energy verses, and a chorus that sounds so intensely Christian, like it ought to be headlining at Parachute ’96.

“Funky Little Hip Hop Angel” has a similar energy, but this time it’s a love song, a tale of unrequited love, when Craig spies a hot chick down at the shops.

The video follows Craig as he walks down the street, sometimes observing his Jandal-clad feet, other times revealing that he’s carrying a rabbit in a cage. As well as this, Craig’s love dilemma is illustrated by stick figures and really cheesy computer graphics.

After wandering town with his rabbit and lusting after a couple of ladies, Craig arrives at the pet store where he works (oh, so that’s why he was carrying the rabbit), and there he gives the rabbit to a little girl who’s excited to get her new pet. Well, that’s cute.

The most interesting thing about the video is that all the main players get an on-screen name caption – there’s Craig, the rabbit, the pet shop boss, but also the two chicks – Jo Price and Joy Ramirez. I like really that. Rather than just being music video hotties, they are allowed to be actual people with names.

This was Craig McKenzie’s one and only solo video to be funded, which is a kind of a pity. I will miss the crazy energy of his music and videos.

Best bit: the quadruple split-screen effect on the rabbit.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision
Director: Greg Riwai

Next… men of every Creed.

Blindspott “Lit Up”

Having built up a substantial fanbase (and that’s something that Blindspott have always been good at), they finally had the opportunity to show off with a live video.

The video consists of live footage shot at a Blindspott gig, and there’s a little bit of stage banter at the beginning, where it is established that there are a large number of Westies in the audience.

The video is cut to match the dynamics of the song – the constrained intro roaring into the hearty boganny verses. The editing manages to disguise the fast that the camera work isn’t all that great sometimes. The self-designed parental-advisory sticker from the band’s debut album keeps flashing up on screen, reminding its audience that – check this out, Mum! – there are swear words in the song.

There’s both black and white footage and colour, and both lots work. The black and white is as metal as a pair of black jeans, while the colour is full of the energy and fire of Blindspott’s live shows.

The song ends with very sedate outro, and the video goes with that a bit too much. As a result, things just fade away, where it feels like there should be more connection with the audience – a bit of cheering. But it still feels like a good document of Blindspott on their way up.

Best bit: the brief flashes of spider silhouettes, just to alienate the arachnophobes.

https://youtu.be/CSFhe0u-9dE

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… a distraction.

Bic Runga “Listening for the Weather”

With “Get Some Sleep”, Bic had a song about life as a touring musician, but the video was about the whimsical adventures of Bic’s mobile radio station. “Listening for the Weather” is another song about live on the road (and the relationships left behind), but this time the video is all about Bic’s life as a jobbing musician.

We find her on stage, cheerfully performing the song with a harmonica wired around her neck. The video makes the process of a live gig seem very workmanlike, but also satisfyingly artful. Outside of the live venues, there’s footage taken from the windows of cars and aeroplanes, scenic New Zealand, scenes from provincial streets and urban scenes. Every moment of life on the road seems glorious and cool.

The tour stops by the Opera House in Wellington and the Civic theatre in Auckland, but the old Southland Country Music Association building in Invercargill also makes an appearance. There are also quite a few shots of the different shoes Bic wears throughout her travels, but they are quite cool shoes.

“Listening for the Weather” is a pretty sedate song, and the video goes with that feeling. It seems to be a good reflection of where Bic was at the time of her Beautiful Collision songs, finding an more mature, slightly weary voice.

Note: Director Paul Casserly says the video was shot mostly on DV cam and Super 8, but that DJ Stipson “did all the really nice shots on a 16mm”.

Best bit: the glamorous old lady revelling at the Christmas parade.

Director: Paul Casserly

Next… entertaining the westies.

Anika Moa “Mother”

The “Mother” video takes the familiar path of the close-up lip-sync, made most famous by Sinead O’Connor in “Nothing Compares 2 U” (though without anything that would prompt an open letter from Ms O’Connor). But Anika is not alone in this. A few seconds into the song she’s joined by another version of herself. Not an evil twin, just another Anika.

While Left Anika sings most of the song, Right Anika joins in to harmonise and has a few verses of her own. Left Anika is more thoughtful and serious, but Right Anika is full of energy, unable to keep still. I like to think that this is what the Breeders were like, back when it was just the teenaged Deal sisters duetting on country songs at biker bars.

Both halves seem to have no edits in them, which means Anika was able to two different lip-syncs playing two different characters. Even though Ms Moa is known for her jolly character, she’s able to knuckle down and give a serious performance (twice!).

The song itself is an ode to Anika’s mum, so it’s nice to think that such is her feeling of aroha for her mum that took two Anikas to really convey the emotion. Awww…

Best bit: Right Anika’s moves during the dance break.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Director: Justin Pemberton

Next… life on the road.

50Hz featuring Ladi6 “Seek Know More”

Ladi6 appears in this video as a sort of career seer, narrating the tale of a man conflicted about his role in the high-flying corporate world.

The man in question emerges from Wellington railway station one morning and has an odd moment. A life-changing thought seems to have hit him. But maybe he was just glad to be out of Lower Hutt.

At work, he’s at a meeting, sitting at the head of the table in front of a decorative kimono on the wall. Channelling Tom Cruise, he leaps up on the table and gives a spirited speech, which gets an enthusiastic reaction from his colleagues. This move gets him the keys to a very fancy car (licence plate: I) and he has a hoon around Lambton Quay. Life made.

But strange things are afoot. Suddenly the man is on a rattly old city bus, a gold coin in hand. He stops off at Zambesi and gets a new suit, kindly giving the empty Zambesi bag to a homeless man. Here you go, chap, here’s an empty paper bag 4 u.

Back at work, things are different in the boardroom – there’s a different person sitting at the head of the table. The man pulls out a folder and slides it to the new head. This guy is not impressed by the folder’s contents and throws it back. The hunter has become the hunted.

I like that things are a bit surreal. If it had gone for a more literal depiction of the song’s lyrics, the video would risk seeming cheesy. But weirdness is very forgiving.

Best bit: that the homeless man is literally across the road from the Zambesi store.

Director: Mike Bridgman
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… twice as nice.

Unique “Outspoken”

Oh, what the hell is going on here? It’s some sort of attempt at a soft porn parody that makes the unrated version of “Blurred Lines” look like a profound feminist statement in comparison.

Unique plays both himself (the cocky young MC) and an Afro-wigged plumber who is attending to a major plumbing emergency at the home of the cocky young MC (seriously – every bit of plumbing in the house seems to have something wrong with it). As Plumber Unique gets to work, he discovers the house is full of party girls. Unlike most people, they find the sight of a man in a $8 nylon party wig to be highly arousing.

The song is a standard bragging anthem, but it features some really unusual lines, like this one: “I fantasise that in the future every day will be just like Easter.” What, a life of chocolate bunnies, egg decorating and church services to remember how Jesus Christ died for our sins? If you insist.

The non-wigged version of Unique can be found in his kitchen, where a party girl starts stripping off and Unique begins humping her on the kitchen bench. In the bathroom, Plumber Unique fixes the shower, whereupon two of the party girls get in and do a bit of awkward topless faux lesbianism. It is so awkward that it gives me newfound respect for pornstars and the directors of porn who make it all look so natural.

I found a description I wrote of the video in 2002, nothing that “in the middle of the video suddenly a fake ad comes on featuring the two ladies, naked in the shower.” This is missing from the version online. The shower action is just presented as part of the regular video, with no break into a fake ad. Curious.

After all this, the video seems to run out of ideas (and really, where can you go from that?), so it just peters out with a montage of the party girls and the two Uniques trying to be cool dudes.

It’s such a lame video. Apart from horrible stuff like the women being in the video merely as sexual accessories, it looks and feels really cheap. But most revealing – every room in Unique’s crib is painted the same bland beige colour.

I have this memory of the video playing on some late night music video show and the presenters having a dilemma like “It’s a bit rude, but we really want to support New Zealand music.” But no – supporting New Zealand music doesn’t mean having to support shit.

Best bit: n/a

Warning: This video is totally Not Safe For Work. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this post alone actually triggered some keyword filters to kick in at some workplaces. Be warned.

Next… New Zealand has got talent.

Mama Said “Point of View”

Mama Said were from Hamilton, fronted by Jarod Brown. He recently made it to the bootcamp round of The X Factor under the name Vegas Brown. His brother Shannon was the band’s original bassist, but by the time this video was made, he had left to play in Tadpole. The brothers later went on to form punk-pop group 48may, but we’ll come to them later.

“Point of View” was their only NZ On Air-funded video. It begins with a snippet of the group’s previous single, a cover of Che Fu and DLT’s “Chains”, with strangely soundalike vocals. We find Jarod strolling along Alma Street, one of the few streets in central Hamilton to have a bit of character – though the video is careful to keep the great big Novotel out of frame.

Jarod pulls out his cellphone, calls someone and begins singing the song into the phone. All around him other people are busy on their mobiles, but is he actually doing some sort of mass broadcast? Is his message about understanding others going to touch the lives of strangers?

This outdoor footage alternates with the band performing in a warehouse, but the phone call hasn’t ended. Jarod tapes the phone to the side of his mic and continues his sung phone call.

But here’s the weird thing. About halfway through the video, all the outdoor scenes suddenly stop. It doesn’t conclude in any way, we just never see the people with cellphones again, with the video focusing solely on the band performing.

It’s like there’s a conclusion missing from the video – who was on the other end of the phonecall? It makes me wonder if something else was intended but they couldn’t film it on the day. Or maybe they just ran out of time editing.

Best bit: the girl talking on the giant 1980s brick-style phone, apparently without irony.

Stellar “One More Day”

“One More Day” was the final single to be released from Stellar’s second album, and it was the first single not to chart, after a solid run of eight singles in the top 40 from 1998 to 2002.

It’s a pretty standard Stellar song, all epic motivational lyrics and Boh Runga sassing. But there’s nothing special about it, and it’s not at all surprising that it didn’t chart.

The lyrics suggest the song is a reaction to the relentless slog of a touring band (much like what Boh’s sister mused over on her song “Get Some Sleep”). The video avoids the temptation of literally depicting this with a “life on the road” montage, and instead just puts the band on a stage.

The band are performing the song on a slightly grimy looking stage, with steel grey walls and a tomato-soup-red floor. It’s reminiscent of Stellar’s first big video, “What You Do” – the band performing on a stage, with stylish coordinated outfits. The band seem so much more mature since their earlier days, but that seems to have taken away a bit of the crazy energy of their early days. Boh’s trademark neck shimmies are very restrained.

The song isn’t especially remarkable, and neither is the video. It seems like a band who have run out of ideas and have just turned to a kind of autopilot mode.

Best bit: Boh’s kaftan – it flows.

Director: Greg Page
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… call of duty.

Tadpole “Rock ‘n’ Roll”

“I like the girly things, I like to feel pretty” sings Renee, in this rage against stereotypes. With the last few Tadpole videos having been for pretty sedate songs, it’s nice to experience Tadpole embracing their rockier side. But because of the subject matter, this song feels like a bit of pastiche. The band being as rock-rock-rock as they can be to show that while Renee might be a bit of a nana who likes an early night, the band can still rock out when required.

So the video follows this path, showing the band at a live gig. It’s all looking pretty grunty, and Renee swaggers about the stage like a boss. But if you look close, she has these funny little white mesh puffy things atop her black singlet, which seems like something out of Astar’s craft segment on Good Morning.

This rockstravaganza progresses for about two-thirds of the video. But then suddenly things get very interesting. The band jumps on a plane and flies to East Timor to provide entertainment for New Zealand defence force personnel stationed there.

There’s a bit of footage of island life, a welcoming haka by the troops and the chance to hang out with some tanks. Then the band hit the stage. There are no fairy wings this time. Renee is sensibly dressed in a singlet and cargo pants.

All the East Timor footage is a million times more interesting than the generic Tadpole concert footage at the beginning. I’d much rather the video had taken spent more time there, rather than tacking it on the end like a postscript.

Best bit: the travel map, tracking the band’s north-western journey.

Director: Wade Shotter
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… nightmare on Alma Street.