2013 – Page 18 – 5000 Ways to Love You

Tadpole “Better Days”

“Better Days” was the final video of the seven songs released off “The Buddhafinger”. Tadpole’s previous videos have all had their own style and “Better Days” continues that with the Wade Shotter-directed video being done in anime style.

We meet the band in their Japanese-style animated form being taunted by their nemesis, a thuggish, green-skinned chap. Like the Power Rangers, Tadpole are colour-coded in red, blue, yellow and Renee in pink. They also come complete with their own collector cards.

The four friends are determined to slay the golly green giant, each blasting him with powers derived from their musical talents. Even Renee’s supersonic scream has no effect. And the group’s little frog friend just ends up getting splattered.

So what can slay their emerald enemy? Why, the buddhafinger, of course. The figure from the album cover smiles benevolently, granting them powers. And with one touch, the green guy becomes mushy peas.

It’s really good to see an animated video that’s got it right. Animation is time-consuming and takes a lot of thought and planning to get right. Other animated music videos haven’t been so successful. Having said that, I can’t help feel that the song would have been better served by a live-action video, but the crazy world of “Better Days” works well enough.

Best bit: the actual tadpole. It tried.

The video was given a special award at the 2002 New Zealand Music Video Awards.

Director: Wade Shotter
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… European vacation.

Steriogram “White Trash”

This was “the video that started things off for us in New Zealand,” notes the Vimeo description. And indeed it was, with the sight of a skinny-arse, grease-covered, mulleted lead rapper Tyson kicking off the band’s burst of fame.

Tyson is in character as a hardcore westie/bogan type, with a hairdo reminiscent of Dave Spade’s “Joe Dirt” character. Being a mechanic, he’s covered in so much grease that I wonder if he’s some sort of holistic mechanic who fixes cars using his entire body.

The rest of the band arrived and with them are a couple of westie chicks. Tyson degreases and puts on his fancy going-out threads – a t-shirt reading “FAT AND PROUD”, which is funny because he’s only one of those.

Comedian and marriage celebrant Ewan Gilmour also joins the group, instantly attracting the attention of one of the chicks. That’s serious westie mana.

The video climaxes with some formation dancing, done with a similar ironic style that Fur Patrol did in “Andrew”. There’s something to be said when dance routines finally show up in New Zealand music videos, they’re done with tongue in cheek.

Steriogram’s videos have a lot of that cheeky spirit that forebears Supergroove had in abundance before they got all serious. The ‘Gram are happy to get all greased up and mulleted in the name of a fun video. And Ewan the Westie gets his girl.

Best bit: Tyson’s mullet preening.

Director: Adam Jones
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… mighty morphin’ power popstars.

P-Money “Scribe 2001”

“Scribe 2001” was a P-Money track (and the opening track on his debut album) but the song was undeniably about the young rapper Scribe. The early 2000s were good for Scribe, the golden years before things started to get complicated. With P-Money’s sophisticated beats, “Scribe 2001” is an introduction to this fresh MC who had a way with words.

The video is incredibly low-budget and was made by P-Money himself. There’s even a brief shot of him reflected in a mirror as he films Scribe, holding the tiniest of video cameras. If P-Money is ever in the shot, the camera is stationary.

The video begins with the duo and pals in a car on a rainy afternoon. They have the freshly released CD single of the track and they blast it in the car stereo, relishing this moment of awesomeness. The video then has a quick montage of New Zealand music personalities of the era – there’s Otis and Slave, Jane Yee, DJ Sir-Vere and Che Fu. And then here’s Scribe telling us his story’s just begun, implying he’s the logical next step in that line-up.

The low-budget video camera gives everything a dull grey, washed-out look. Even Scribe and P-Money look less like a respected DJ and MC and more like a couple of friends mucking around with a video camera. But back then, that’s kind of what they were – a couple of dudes who knew they had a cool song that needed a video.

The video is totally lacking in glamour. They’re hanging around in a hotel room, by some lifts, in a stairwell, in a record shop. It’s a bland utilitarian landscape, brought to life by the killer track.

At one point Scribe is sitting at a table in a nondescript hotel room. In front of him is some cash. Not stacks of Benjamins, rather a more modest Hillary and a Queenie. P-Money flicks a 20 at the camera. The scene comes across as both a parody of hip-hop videos and the sincere swagger of two guys who know one day they’ll be able to do that in a fancy hotel suite and with big stacks of Rutherfords.

But whatever flaws the video might have, none of it really matters. The song is so strong that the video doesn’t need to be super slick. Hey, it’s Scribe and he has some rhymes for you.

Best bit: the people who share the lift with Scribe: frozen; horrified.

Director: Peter Waddams
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… take out the trash.

Evermore “Oil & Water”

It’s Evermore, the triple-bro guitar-pop group who’s had more success in Australia than New Zealand. “Oil & Water” was a track on the Hume brothers’ second EP (also titled “Oil & Water”) and it’s a pleasant enough song, but nothing remarkable.

The video takes the trio and puts them in an interesting old building full of bunches of twigs and pools of water. Or is that pools of oil? Either way, it’s not oil and water.

The lyrics are intent on using the oil and water not mixing as a metaphor to represent relationship tension. But oil and water aren’t all that bad. If it’s a petroleum-based oil, it can produce a cheerful rainbow. And add a few spices and herbs and you’ll have a delicious salad dressing.

Instead the video goes for a gothic tone. The brothers may be performing in front of a bright window, but they inhabit a world of stark silhouettes and those wintery twigs. It feels a bit post-grunge (is that a thing?), pulling away from the bright guitar pop of the late ’90s and bringing a bit of serious back.

Best bit: the awesome hair silhouettes, bringing an artful quality to a remnant of the hair metal days.

Bonus! Here’s a documentary on the 2000 Smokefreerockquest, where Evermore (aged 13-16) took out the big prize. Hugh Sundae also chats to other finalists Nesian Mystik and an early version of Die! Die! Die!

Next… the beginning of the story.

Dark Tower “Alright Now”

The Dark Tower lads are back and this time they’re having an adventure in a central Wellington neighbourhood. Jody and Eli are cheerfully walking home, not realising that in their flat is the dastardly Mario. He’s eating their cornchips, drinking their beer, farting on their couch and macking on Jody’s girlfriend (as explained by on-screen titles). They walk in mid-mack and Mario makes a run for it, sparking off an epic chase on foot.

It’s not exactly a geographically accurate chase, more a patchwork of chainlink fences, narrow alleyways, paved backyards and bits of flat and hilly Wellington. At one stage the duo are overtaken by a jogger. This doesn’t stop them catching up with the corn chip thief, but he surprises them with a posse of thugs. Fortunately a deus ex machina arrives in the form of Jody’s mum, who flips off the goons and rescues the lads.

But is it too late? Back in the flat, Mario has returned to continue his dance of seduction. Jody’s girlfriend is enjoying herself as Mario shimmies, with his giant belly overhanging his giant Y-fronts. Aw yeah.

At this point I’m wondering what the motivation behind the chase was. Jody’s girlfriend seems much happier with Mario (and what woman wouldn’t want a bearded fellow who’s not afraid to dance in his undies?). Surely corn chip theft is a pardonable crime. But perhaps for Dark Tower, doing a curry fart into someone’s couch is the worst crime of all.

It’s a fun video with great editing, capturing the anarchic spirit of Dark Tower.

Best bit: the birthday boy who gets a face full of cake, thanks to the disruptive chase.

Note: there are two slightly different versions of this video. In one, Dark Tower are credited as Earl Deviance and Eel, in the other they’re Jody and Eli.

Director: David Stubbs

Colliding Traits “Sometimes”

Colliding Traits were, the internet tells me, overall winners of the West Auckland Battle Of The Bands Regional Final, and had crossover with the Christian pop scene. They were also appreciated for their songcraft. And “Sometimes” feels like a well-crafted song, like a mellower Feelers or a less showbiz Opshop.

There’s only 1:43 of the video online, but it’s not hard to guess what the missing first half of the video would be like. Basically, the band perform the video in a black studio while they are showered with water, like it’s raining. This might be a reference to their 1999 EP “Through the Rain”. Or it might just have been done because it looks cool.

The band are good sports, not looking all that bothered by the torrent coming down on them (apart from the occasional defensive nose scrunch).

While the rain doesn’t serve any purpose other than to spice up an otherwise ordinary performance video, wetness in a music video does look great (as Tex Pistol demonstrated in 1987). Everyone looks dramatic and bothered, and the water crashing down on the cymbals is visual poetry. It’s like the old Hollywood saying about Esther Williams – dry they ain’t much, but wet they’re stars. Kind of.

This was the first and only NZ On Air-funded video that Colliding Traits had, eventually breaking up after releasing their debut album in 2002. But this isn’t a bad way of remembering them.

Best bit: the dramatic saturated hair flicks.

Note: the band’s website is still online, last updated in 1999. It’s a classic turn-of-the-millennium minimalist website design, complete with tiny Verdana text.

Next… who’s been eating my corn chips?

Cassette “Don’t Let Anyone”

“Don’t Let Anyone” is a laid-back alt-country number, but the video takes the trio on a much wilder adventure. We meet the group as they’re each driving in identical brown cars. A handy map identifies that they’re travelling from separate parts of town, all headed for the centrally located Paydirt Studios.

The video uses a lot of animated backgrounds, and there’s plenty of CGI trickery, like when the band pulls up in their three identical cars (all played by the same car). The lads head into the pink palatial studio complex and each goes into an area with a different theme, involving costume, props and appropriate backgrounds. There’s a hunting lodge, a tropical beach and a winter wonderland. Hunting Lodge Tom gets to sing the song as part of his area.

It seems that Paydirt Studios are kindly making a music video for Cassette, but the Paydirt’s surreal production line is making a rather off video. Feeling somewhat uncomfortable in this strange “presentacion de los Cassettes”, the trio escape, sprinting through the sets as they flee the studios and pile into one of the brown cars as they made their getaway.

The video was directed by Jonny Kofoed, who’s since made a career out of doing delightful animations for the world of advertising. I like his dark take on the world of video production.

Best bit: Tom’s very long look in the rearview mirror.

Director: Jonny Kofoed
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… wet, wet, wet.

Augustino “Into The Grain”

I love this video so much. In fact, if someone told me I had to stop 5000 Ways today, I’d almost be ok with that. “Into the Grain” is little over two and a half minutes long, but it feels like every shot in the film is the right thing in the right place.

The video begins with a door, the NZ On Air logo rotating on a door hanger. Eagle-eyed readers will noticed that this is where I got the above header image from. Inside we find Sean from Augustino sitting on a chair in an otherwise empty room. It’s decorated with shagpile carpet and a grotesque rococo-style wallpaper. The camera slowly pans in on him, but it feel like hesitant pan, as if it’s afraid to get too close. After the first stanza Sean stops lip-synching and turns to the left. He notices that the wallpaper pattern is writing. Trippy as.

The chorus switches to Augustino rocking out in a small room. It looks like they’re in a rundown house, a contrast from the room of weird. For the next verse we’re back with Sean in the freaky room. It continues to be freaky and then it’s really annoying because a fly walks across your screen. You go to swat it away but suddenly realise it’s part of the music video. Well, you think, that was a neat trick.

Back to the chorus and this time we see the band graffitiing a room in the rundown house. It’s the worst graffiti ever, just random scribbles. I mean, a 13-year-old kid from the suburbs could tag up a wall with greater style than that.

Again we join Sean as he continues to stare down the camera. But suddenly flies start crawling out of his mouth, and the image starts to shake and warp. It wasn’t just one trick fly – they’re everywhere! It’s like the video has become too intense and is breaking apart from the pressure.

What’s the perfect antidote to an intense situation? Why, a coffee break. We join the band in the kitchen of the old house, having a sped-up coffee break. But this is not enough to stem the chaos. Sean bravely swats away the increasing numbers of flies that are pestering him, and soon the screen becomes crowded with the pests.

The video was directed by Augustino drummer Wade Shotter. As well as having really strong usuals, the video also has a great sense of rhythm. “Into the Grain” is a manic, slightly ridiculous song about getting out of it on drugs, but the video takes that to a whole ‘nother level.

Best bit: the warping wallpaper, the merest hint of the craziness to follow.

Director: Wade Shotter

Next… step inside a world of fantasy.

Alastair Riddell “Peace Dream Solution”

It’s said that when Alastair Riddell and Space Waltz burst onto the scene in 1974 with the Bolan- and Bowie-inspired “Out on the Street” on the New Faces talent show, it was like aliens from planet pop arriving to show the backward earthlings of New Zealand a thing or two. But 20 years later Alastair shows up wondering “whatever happened to the peace dream solution?”

Restlessly sitting in a Le Corbusier chaise longue, he watches a rapidly changing slide show of images of world history and culture from the last two decades. Martin Luther King Jr, starving Africans, Ronald Regan, Pope John Paul II and Elvis flash past, like the reprogramming scene from “A Clockwork Orange”.

But the song comes across less as a lament and more as a dig at the boomer generation, the former flower children who can be now found in the gyms, concerned more about their physique than peace and love.

I found a 2007 TV show where Paul Holmes grills Alastair about the meaning of “Out on the Street”. He answers, “A lot of people were making a lot of noise about the new age, the age of Aquarius. We had “Hair” some years before. And I really thought that the age we lived in was a bit more like a whore or a lady of the night.” So it seems he was never a great believer in the promise of the peace dream solution, but perhaps it come as a shock just how rapidly his generation discarded those ideals.

As the video progresses, Alastair gets off the couch and turns his back on the slideshow, instead rocking out with his guitar. There’s also a bit of animation, involving Elvis stamps and strongmen. Very ’90s.

The video ends with Alastair in a military uniform, singing “all you need is love”. It’s like something out of “Hair” – the hippy is shockingly revealed to be part of the establishment. Whoa.

Best bit: the Regan-faced pope.

Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Greg Johnson Set “Come On”

Greg Johnson takes a further step away from the straight folky video of “Isabelle” and introduces a popular video theme of the ’90s – freaky friends. But being a gentle acoustic folk-pop song, it’s a classier version of the usual leather and latex scenario.

We find Greg lying on his canopy deathbed, surrounded by his nearest and dearest. He’s so poorly that he starts to imagine a curious collection of people. There’s an elegant angel, played by Tandi Wright who was just months away from becoming known as the trouble Caroline on “Shortland Street”.

And model Colin Mathura-Jeffree can be spotted along with a geisha, a strongman, a corseted lady and a blue-painted person. These were the innocent days; the days before he had a flavour of gourmet ice cream named after him. It’s a strange side effect. Almost 20 years later these supporting players in the video suddenly stand out as celebrity cameos.

While the bedside anguish goes on, Greg has a flashback in the form of a home movie. We’re off to the seaside with a small boy and his mum, a free-spirited, dreadlocked lady. I assume that Greg is the person filming the outing, the recipient of loving states from the woman and the boy.

Back on the bed, there is still great sadness. When even a fabulous geisha can’t cure all ills, you know it’s bad news.

Best bit: child Greg’s hipster-style pencilled-on moustache.

Director: James Holt
Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision

Next… the love revolution revisited.